Drunken Dilemma

A heavily drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another heavily drunk man.

The first drunk man looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the Sun or the Moon?"

The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."

Ha Ha Ha

A Conversation With God

A man does a severe penance and God is please with his effort. Then the man starts a conversation with God. The conversation with God goes as follows:

Man: "God, how long is a million years?"

God: "To me, it's about a minute."

Man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God: "To me it's a penny."

Man: "God, may I have a penny?"

God: "Wait a minute."

Man: !!!!!

Fast Food

Two Tigers were taking rest under a huge banyan tree.

Suddenly, a Rabbit passed through in front of them like a flash . One tiger could not make out & asked the other tiger "What was that?"

2nd Tiger smiled and said: Fast Food.

Password Decoded

One day Santa and Banta went together to draw money from an ATM Centre. Both of them were standing in the queue. Banta was behind Santa in the line. It was Santa's turn to draw money from ATM.

Santa withdrew money from ATM.

Banta, who was just behind him in the queue said: Santa, I've seen your password. It's ****.

Santa: Banta, You are absolutely wrong. It's 1960.

Ha Ha Ha

Weighty Problem!

Once an elephant and an ant were walking along the highway. Soon, they come across an abandoned old bridge. the moment they stepped on the old bridge, it started creaking.

Hearing the creaking sound of the old bridge, the ant says...

Ant: Dear Elephant, your weight and my weight seems to be too heavy for this creaky bridge.

Elephant: !!!!!

Appointment Interview!!!

Once Santa attended an Interview and the conversation between the interviewer and Santa was as given below:

The interview commenced on a sedate note and the conversation went on following lines.

Interviewer : Give me the antonyms or opposite words.

Santa : Ok Sir.

Interviewer : Made in India

Santa : Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up

Santa : Bad.... Put it Down

Interviewer : Maxi Mum

Santa : Mini Dad

Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat

Santa : Insufficient! Don't take my seat

Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat

Santa : Clever! Don't take my seat

Interviewer : I say you get out!

Santa : You didn't say I come in

Interviewer : I reject you!

Santa : You appoint me.

Ha Ha Ha

Paid Coffee & Free Coffee

Once a conversation was going on between a customer and a waiter in a hotel.

Customer: Dear waiter, everyday you charge me for a cup of coffee. Don't you think, it would be damn wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today?...

Waiter: Dear Sir, I totally agree with you. Everyday, you drink from a cup filled with coffee. Indeed, it would be really wonderful if you drink coffee from an empty cup today.

Customer:!!!!!

Starting Problem

An Engineering college invited all the professors to a seminar and they were promptly made to sit in an aeroplane.

The organizers informed the invitee professors that the aeroplane that they were sitting on was built by their students and that in a few minutes, they will be taken for a ride.

Immediately, all the professors ran out of the aeroplane except one professor.

The organizers were curious and asked the professor why he was still sitting in the aeroplane while others ran out?

The professor coolly replied “If it’s made by our students, it will not even start”

Organizers: !!!!!!!

Indian Genius

Once in an international conference, a German, a Japanese and an Indian were discussing about the great achievements made by their respective countries.

To test the authenticity of their talk, a Russian asked the German, the Japanese and the Indian as to what was so special about their countries and gave the German a piece of stainless and asked him to show his skills.

Immediately, the German made a fine and tiny piece of wire made from stainless steel which was thinner than hair. The German told the Russian that such a fine piece of steel has not been made till now. The Russian appreciated the work of German.

The Japanese took the piece of wire made by the German, examined it closely and finally made a tiny hole in the stainless steel wire. The Japanese told the Russian that you cannot imagine that anyone can make a hole in a stainless steel wire which was thinner than hair. The Russian was stumped with this feat of the Japanese and congratulated him for the excellent work.

Finally, the Indian took the fine piece of stainless steel wire with a hole and gave it back to the Russian with the words MADE IN INDIA inscribed on the fine piece of stainless steel wire.

The Russian, the Japanese and the German:Fainted!!!!!!!!!!!