Dumb Love

A discussion takes place between Santa and a priest about women.

Santa: Why did God make women so beautiful?

Priest: So that you will love them.

Santa thinks for a short time.

Santa: But why did God make them so dumb?

Priest: So that they will love you.

Ha Ha Ha

Funny Girl

Once Very Funny Girl comes late to class.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.

Teacher: So, What?

Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow.

Ha Ha Ha

Funny Accountant

A funny accountant visits a museum with Santa.

Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.

Santa: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?

Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.

Ha Ha ha

Hot Coffe - Cold Cofee

A Funny short man & his wife go to a coffee house. Funny short man buys 2 cups of coffee.

Funny Man: Drink quickly... drink quickly... before it gets cold.

Wife: But why...

Funny Man: They charge Rs. 50 for hot coffee and Rs 100 for cold coffee.

Ha Ha Ha

One More Drink!

A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman.

The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky.

The Englishman was glad to have a drink.

"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."

The Englishman drank gratefully.

"But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.

"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."

Ha Ha Ha

Train Schedule

A man was complaining to a railway engineer.

Rail Traveler: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.

Railway Engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule.

Ha Ha Ha

A Messy House

Husband: I invited my friend yo our house for lunch.

Wife: Oh, Dear not now because the whole house is in a mess.

Husband: Well, I wanted to show him all this because he wanted get married.

Ha Ha Ha

Living Life

Husband: Will you re marry. If I die.

Wife: I will live with my sister.

Wife: Will you re marry. If I die.

Husband: I will live with your sister.

Ha Ha Ha

Talking Sweet Things

Husband and wife had enough fight and after wife was very angry and told.

Wife: I am going to my parents house and give you a divorce.

Husband: Don't try to please me talking sweets things.

Ha Ha Ha

Joining Army

Husband 1: What makes you join army?

Army Guy : I loved army and war and had no wife. What about you.

Husband 2: Well I have a wife. And I wanted peace. So, I joined Army.

Ha Ha Ha

Survival Tactics

Husband : Can you survive in this small income?

Wife : Sure I will, what about you?

Wife : If I climb the Mount Everest what you will do???

Husband: Push.

Ha Ha Ha

Anger Management

A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."

One of his friends asked. "And when you are angry, what do you do?"

The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dare to answer back.

Ha Ha Ha

Neighbourly Talk

One woman told another : My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband.

but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward.

but have I ever said anything bad about him?

Ha Ha Ha

Same Service

Discussion between a Counsellor and a Client.

Husband: When we were first married,I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.

Counsellor: Why complain? You're still getting the same service!

Ha Ha Ha

Horsy Call

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: I am extremely sorry dear!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan on his head again.

Husband: What now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.

Ha Ha Ha

Elephant Milk

Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.

Santa: That's impossible. Whose baby?

Banta: An elephant's.

Ha Ha Ha

Founder Of America

The Teacher & the student in a class.

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.

Maria: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Maria did.

Teacher: !!!!

Ha Ha Ha

Spelling a Lengthy Word

Santa went for an interview and the discussion was as follows:

The manager started interviewing Santa.

Manager: Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Santa: P-O-S-T-B-O-X

Manager: !!!!

Ha Ha Ha