7 Up

SANTA went to court. There was noise in the court room.

JUDGE:Order ! Order !

SANTA:1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !

JUDGE:Shut Up !

SANTA:No,No..7-Up!

Ha Ha Ha

Father & Son

SON: Father, give me the car key, I am now old enough to drive.

FATHER: Oh, no, the car is not old enough to be driven by you!

Ha Ha Ha

Pressing The Bell?

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,

Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.

Lady calls again, Santa replies,

I'm coming daily since 4 days,

I press the bell but no one comes out.

Ha Ha Ha

Wait A Minute

A man is talking to God.

The man: Dear God, how long is a million years?

God: To me, it's about a minute.

The man: God, how much is a million dollars?

God: To me it's a penny.

The man: God, may I have a penny?

God: Wait a minute.

Ha Ha Ha

Photo Make Up

Boy: Where Are You Going?

Girl: For Suicide.

Boy: Then, Why So Much Make-Up?

Girl: You Idiot..!! Tomorrow My Photo will Come In Newspapers.

Ha Ha Ha

Doctor & Patient

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"

The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."

The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

Ha Ha Ha

The Perfect Son!!!

Santa: I have the perfect son.

Banta: Does he smoke?

Santa: No, he doesn't.

Banta: Does he drink whiskey?

Santa: No, he doesn't.

Banta: Does he ever come home late?

Santa: No, he doesn't.

Banta: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

Santa: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Ha Ha Ha

A Jerky Reply

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.

Man: No, I wasn't.

Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.

Man: But I wasn't speeding.

Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)

Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?

Officer: Yes, you would.

Man: What if I just thought that you were?

Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.

Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

Ha Ha Ha

Caught On The Wrong Foot

BOSS: Do you believe in life after Death?

EMPLOYEE: Certainly not! There's no proof of it

BOSS:Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you.

Pizza Pieces

Santa orders pizza.

Waiter: Sirm should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?

Santa: 4 pieces will do. I can't eat 8 pieces.

Ha Ha Ha

Who Found America?

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.

Maria: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Maria did.

Ha Ha Ha

Spoony Problem

Patient: Doctor, I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.

Doctor: Well take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Ha Ha Ha