Biting Reply

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.

"Oh," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog".

Ha Ha Ha

Best In The Block

There were three restaurants in the same block.

To beat the competition, one day one of the restaurants put up a sign board which read "The Best Restaurant in the City."

The next day, the largest restaurant in the block put up a larger sign board which read "The Best Restaurant in the World."

On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign board which read "The Best Restaurant in this Block."

Ha Ha Ha

Good News & Bad News

A Patient receives a phone call from his Doctor.

Doctor: "I have some good news and some bad news for you."

Patient: "OK doctor, give me the good news first."

Doctor: "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

Doctor: "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

Ha Ha Ha

The Day Off

Two factory workers, a woman and a man are talking.

The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The other worker asks, "How would you do that?"

The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"

The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."

The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."

The fellow worker starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"

The mansays, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

Ha Ha Ha

Poor Mouse

Santa: I'm in a big trouble!

Banta: Why is that?

Santa: I saw a mouse in my house!

Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.

Santa: I don't have one.

Banta: Well then, buy one.

Santa: I Can't afford one.

Banta: I can give you mine if you want.

Santa: That sounds good.

Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.

Santa: I don't have any cheese.

Banta: OK then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and place it in the trap.

Santa: I don't have oil.

Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.

Santa: I don't have bread.

Banta: Then what the hell is the mouse doing in your house?

Ha Ha Ha

River Bank

Wife called her husband over phone and started a discussion.

Wife: Honey where are you?

Husband: I'm at the bank.

Wife: Dear, please I need 5000 rupees to activate my Blackberry, 7000 to do my hair and 15,000 to buy a dress.

Husband: Sorry dear, I meant I was at the "bank" of a river.

I can get some really nice fish to cook?

Wife: !!!!

Ha Ha Ha

The Interview!

Santa goes for an interview for the post of detective. The content of the interview was on the following lines.

Interviewer - Mr. Santa, who killed Gandhiji?

Santa - Thank you sir for giving me the job. Without wasting further time, I will start investigation now.

Ha Ha Ha

Phoney Book

Santa goes to a library and see what happens.

Santa returns the book to library, bangs it on the table & says - My foot,

"I read the whole book. Too many characters, no story at all".

Librarian : Santa, so you are the one who took the Telephone Directory.

Ha Ha Ha

What's Common?

Santa and Banta were in an animated discussion and talk centred around Great personalities of the world.

Santa: What's common between Ram, Krishna, Gandhiji & Jesus..?

Banta : All were born on Government Holidays.

Santa: !!!!

Ha Ha Ha

A Foreigner?

After returning back from a foreign trip, santa asked his wife:

Santa: Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife: No! Why?

Santa: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

Wife:!!!!

Ha Ha Ha

A Tourist & Santa

A conversation between a tourist and Santa.

Tourist: Was any great man born in this village???

Santa: No sir, only small Babies are born in this village!!!

Ha Ha Ha

Suicide Story

Santa: Banta, why are you heating the knife?

Banta: To commit suicide.

Santa: But why are you heating it?

Banta: To prevent infection.

Ha Ha Ha

Salary Blues

Conversation between a boy friend and a girl friend.

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?

Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

Ha Ha Ha

Boss Vs Employee

There was a discussion between the boss and an employee.

Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?

Employee: (looking down) No Sir...

Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.

Ha Ha Ha

Missed Call

Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones.

For a change, both of them decided to use pigeons instead of cell phones to send messages.

They hit upon an innovative scheme. Both of them decided to send the messages by pigeons. They agreed to follow the new idea of sending the messages.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message.

Banta picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.

Santa: that was a missed call.

Ha Ha Ha

Lawyer's Fee

Santa meets a lawyer and the conversation follows:

Santa: What is your fees?

Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.

Santa: Isn't it too high?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

Ha Ha Ha

Never Beat Anybody!

Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?

Kid: No, my mummy beats me.

Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.

Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.

Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?

Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!

Ha Ha Ha

Yogic Effect

A yoga teacher was inquiring an woman about the effects of yoga.

Yoga teacher: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, It has an amazing and funny effect on my husband. Earlier, he was drinking normally, now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

Ha Ha Ha

Marriage & Divorce

The following conversation went on between Santa and Banta.

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.

Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Ha Ha Ha

Teacher & The Student

The following conversation takes place between a class teacher and the student - little Johnny. Little Johnny : Teacher, will you punish me for something that I have not done?

Teacher : Why should I punish you for something that you have not done. Certainly not little Johnny.

Little Johnny: Oh!That's really good teacher. Actually, I didn't do my homework!!!!!

Ha Ha Ha

Whom To Call?

Santa: Look, a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance?

Ha Ha Ha